What if 'Numerals' were a secular nation as India

Once there was a secular country called Numerals. Everyone was happy when they wrote 2+2=4. But after sometime someone said 2+2 only represents one section of numerals i.e., even numbers & there is no representation of odd numbers in the society. So govt thought lets give opportunity to odd numbers as well and a law was passed to represent 2+2 as 3+1. This controversial decision gave rise to communal riots, saying now even numbers are sidelined to appease odd numbers. The pseudo intellectuals/sikulars/commies/socialists met again and decided 2+2 should be now represented as 2+1+1, where 2 represents majority, 1 represents minorities, another 1 represents other minors among minorities. Though the law was passed, everyone is still pissed about it. In future, there is a request by one kapi to introduce his/her universal zero loss theory. So 4=2+1+1+0 ;-)...

Langoti Vs Underwear

In the series of A vs B posting this is one more addition. Thought, I should let out all the crazy thoughts I have inside me before I reach a stage in life where I am no more interested in posting them.

Me and my colleague from Indore were chit chatting about effects of IT industry on our lifestyle and how it has changed the face of consumerism in Indian cities. The earning capacity of people has increased substantially compared to what it was few years ago. IT Industry is bringing a lot of revenue to India through exports, but at the same time a lot of foreign brands are invading tier-1 and tier-2 cities. People now are getting taste of pizza and burger. McD’s and subway can be easily found now.

Though the spending capacity has increased people aren’t saving much, reason being they have lot more options to spend the money on. And also the cost of living has risen enormously. So at the end of the day, no matter how much you earn, you are spending a lot more and saving less. People don’t mind to paying more for comfort and quality.

At this point of chit-chat my friend asked me if my lifestyle has improved. And if it has improved give me an example. I told him ‘I don’t know if my lifestyle has improved, but I know for sure my spending ability has increased. Previously I used to wear Indian made local brand of Underwear but now I am wearing foreign brand’J. Now our thoughts were diverted more towards Underwear.

Indian men have always worn loincloth or Langoti (langot). There was no concept of underwear until some western guy introduced it. Langoti suits more for us than underwear. Reason being better ventilation, it suits more for Indian hot humid dry weather. Underwear is more suitable in cold countries. The western trend brought us Underwear and along with it brought itching as well. And for itching it brought suitable ointments to apply. All made by western. A humble Langoti with better ventilation couldn’t face the itching underwear. Why only underwear, it’s the same story with bra. And Go commando is nothing new for Indian women in villages :P

UK is like a big Fridge!

Yes, UK is like a big fridge, temperatures are a bit cold at the bottom(i.e., London), thats the warmest part of fridge. And its freezing cold at the top, thats Scotland.

Virtually you will never see the Sun here. Winter is worse, and in Summer it rains, and this summer it even snowed in Scotland. A green Christmas and white Easter is only possible in UK :P.

In the recent movie, 'A Single Man', there a dialogue "I am English, we like to be cold and wet", perfect!.

I wondered whether it was courage/bravey in Brits that led to sail around the world and conquer it, or were they just fed up, frustrated with the weather here and desperately wanted to get out of this country to get some good sun ;).

Anyway, recently on occasion of Ugadi, my mom asked me to look for the moon on that auspicious day, I laughed and said, its difficult to see Sun here forget moon.

Gravity vs Newton vs Apple vs Sh*t

As a kid I was so amazed at the story of apple and Newton. Newton one day saw an apple fall from a tree and it inspired him to come up with theory of gravity.

But then there was also a bit of scientist (mom terms that as brat :P) in me when I was a kid, I too always wondered why **** always falls down while sh*tting. Why doesn't it fly here and there! yuck! gross!

Now I am wondering why it took an apple for Newton to come up with Theory of Gravity, didn't he realise it daily while sh*tting?!!!

Whats vulgar? Dhirendra Gopal dramas or Eminem/50 Cent's songs

If you know kannada and never heard of Dhirendra gopal better click the 'x' button on this window and listen to his few dramas available on internet audio portals. His dramas are most vulgar in kannada. Just the names of his dramas speak about what you can expect from them, for eg:- bikanasi maava bevarshi aliya, chor guru chandala shishya,dagaar nan maga, dagar aliya, kal nanmaga, mooru bitton oorige doddon.

Listen to rap or hip-hop's by Eminem or 50 Cent. In my opinion they beat Dhirendra gopal by miles in terms of vulgar lyrics. Ask a guy who likes those hip-hop songs, he might say they are 'f*ing cool dude'. Dhirendra gopal's dramas suddenly look soo decent in front of those rap songs. For me a bad word in kannada has more weightage than a bad word in English, may be because things told in mother tongue is more effective.

So there I was contemplating between Eminem's songs and Dhirendra gopal's dramas. Whos more vulgar? In Bangalore I have seen people put on rap songs in full volume in their cars and roam around. They might look cool dudes listening to hip-hop songs, but I cant imagine the same

guys put on Dhirendra gopal's dramas in full volume!!!, Ah its not so savvy...( ...I'll take you to the candy shop, I'll let you lick the lollipop...)

Now I lost track what I was gonna convey through this post in my blog...

But I like this guy Eminem, when I recently listened to his songs, I was like why didnt I listen to them till now!!!... I cant resist posting links to my favourite songs below, have listened to them night long now and been listening for past two days... that guy has talent...in vulgarism he has Phd...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjyN79jB8zs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39PaQmIX0r8

My Grandpa Vs Me

Last year I got a good chance to talk to my grandpa about his life journey.

He is getting old, in nineties now, and looked like he has lost a bit of passion to live.

I considered myself a bit successful in life, coming from middle class family background, working in a multinaitonal company and having visited one or two countries outside India. But, still nothing has given me satisfaction of having done something useful in life, having done good to

someone.

Coming to my grandpa, I was asking him what all he has done in life. He told how he struggled in life and how he successfully bought more land for agriculture, struggle to bring up his kids/family. I asked him if had taken part in freedom struggle, his eyes glowed and he was proud to say Yes.

Seems he and his comrades took part in burning down the Byadagi railway station!!!. I was dumbstuck on hearing this. I thought he might have involved in peaceful one or two agitation. He was ecstatic when he told 'we burned down railway station'. But his name was never mentioned

in the official freedom fighters list, because, his father-in-law(who had high level contacts with police, irony!) made sure his name was disappeared from the official police complaint. So there was nothing to prove, officially, that he took part in freedom struggle.

I thought I was a risk taker in life but will never be able to beat my grandpa. I was asking myself 'What have I done in life till today?'. Answer was Zero, big 0 compared to him. Do I have satisfaciton with my job? Hell NO.

There is one thing where I can beat my grandpa and that is, I can read London Underground Map ;)...

My grandpa took part in the process of freedom struggle, which ultimately ended in sending british out of India. And here I am, left India to work in United Kingdom and sitting and writing this blog in London. Irony!!!

Just Crazy...

In the eyes of God me and veerappan are one and the same. Just humans.

Given an opportunity everybody is a bastard.

I dont believe in the theory of evolution that men evolved from monkeys. I think God made men from dogs and only women from monkeys. Men like to bark and women like to jump.

We all are controlled by aliens.

Going to vegas is like going for a piligrimage, visiting goddesses and donating money to the temple(casino).

Having a DSLR is better than having a girl friend, you will have all the control at your hand.

Its not that older generation was better than today's, its only that the venues to express sin are more now.

Why did god give us different skin color, whereas most of the animals have only one skin color... zebra has zebra skin, lion has lion skin...

We all act as ass h**es sometimes but, dont worry be positive, atleast its smaller than elephant's...!!!

I am the master of my fate. Sadly, my fate is not a obedient disciple... :(

Everything is fair in love and war, its the f*ing normal life thats not fair.